You’re in a swirl of darkness. You experience soul-searing pain. Open wounds. Not only from your own pain, but from the countless injustices and atrocities around you. Numb. Your soul is numb. Your faith fragile. One wrong move and you’ll fall to pieces. You can’t see God through the fog of his people. Jesus said that people would spot Christians by their love, if that’s the case, then you couldn’t be surrounded by Christians because these people are selfish, stubborn, mean and angry. Grinding all sorts of axes. Tunnel-visioned.
You’re disillusioned, don’t know what to believe or if you believe. “Is God who he says he is? Is what I’ve been taught about him true?” you wonder. Moreover if God is good and loving why so much evil, pain, and suffering? Why so many professing Christians who are nothing like Jesus? What can be done for you? Is this all there is? You fear falling into the bottomless abyss of unbelief. What you don’t want, what you don’t need is someone to quote Bible verses to you. Giving you pat answers. You bristle at the thought.
You know what? Jesus isn’t that way. He doesn’t kick you when you’re down. But he asks, “What can I do for you?” Jesus came to reconcile you and all of creation to God. He wants to show you how to live, to make you whole–fully human. And he will walk with you as you heal. He knows the pace you can manage.
He will sharpen your perceptions of reality through his word, through Christians who behave(d) like him, and through creation’s graces. He’ll answer many questions, and make you okay with not knowing the answers to others. He’ll pour his life into you as you follow him. In turn you’ll live your life to serve God and others. It’s not the end for you. Right now, the best thing you can do is trust him and relax in his arms even if you can’t pray or go to church or serve (he knows all this). He’ll bring you around to truth and life and comfort.