I Don’t Always Know What Taking Up My Cross Will Mean

“Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Matthew 10:37-39

I daily pledge to follow Christ closely. But now that he has given me a heavy cross, I balk. I realize that I wanted to pick and choose my cross. The cross that I am currently bearing isn’t the one I would’ve selected. Taking up my cross is unbelievably harder than I imagined. I left all to answer this call, I sacrificed my Isaac, but now I’m complaining daily about it. I have a bad attitude.

You know, I always thought I would’ve been Caleb or Joshua in the wilderness-faithful to God despite all odds. Yet upon reflection, even though I would’ve never previously dreamed it possible, I now know that I would’ve died in the wilderness with most of the Israelites. Why? Because I’ve treated God with contempt by complaining which displays ugly unbelief.

When we ask God to give us our daily bread, one thing we are asking for is the nourishment that will provide the strength for us to carry our cross to our death.

After he puts to death in us what he will, he’ll raise us to new life. That’s what I believe. That’s what I remind myself of today. I need strength for today, tomorrow has enough evil of its own (Matthew 6:25-33).

“When we follow Jesus, it means that we don’t know exactly what it means, at least in detail. We follow him, letting him pick the roads, set the timetables, tell us what we need to know but only when we need to know it . . . . When Jesus says ‘Follow me’ and we follow, we don’t know where we will go next or what we will do next, that is why we follow the one who does know.”

–Eugene Peterson The Jesus Way p.240

From 2008

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